Alert Reader TBDOA Spotting!

Teddy Bear as Centaur!

and it's made of alpaca fur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New reader Phytheas Bear spotted this abomination at one of the Wormholes to the Underworld. I am fairly certain this site is going to give me enough TBDOA material to post every day until Christmas.

TBDOA invade the realm of Pegasus

Oh, so now it's OK to blaspheme even the most sacred mythological creatures? What's next ... Teddy Bears as Santa Claus? as Tumnus the Faun? as Aslan? as Jesus?!? Such a creation brings us to the very brink of damnation.

So many reasons to cry.

Oh noooooooooooooooooo!

Now even the sudsy bliss of bathtime has been corrupted by TBDOA!

These monstrosities were found in the bath aisle at Hell's Gate. While not TBDOA per se, they definitely qualify as TBDOA-like phenomena. They are bath scrubbies, with animal heads. Dismemberment is never funny, particularly when paired with bubbles.

Monkeys Inside of Monkeys

This abomination was found at The 7th Gate of Hell in Cape Cod. It's a Monkey toiletry bag, spilling monkey-shaped bath goodies out of its viscera when unzipped. I know a certain someone who would probably bite me for even holding this. I'm sorry, my darling.

Lurker Earns A+ on TBDOA Assignment!

Sabrina, a self-proclaimed lurker, has sent me evidence of the following perversion:

Gods help us.

Read about it here.

Prom, anyone?

Your Assignment

Now that you have been exposed to the horror of TBDOA, it is incumbent upon you to open your eyes and to spot this perversion in the world. Over the next week, whilst I am on a TBDOA-hunting foray into the wilds of New England, please find examples of TBDOA or TBDOA-like phenomena (dolls, freaky stuffed animals, babies in costume) and send them to me!

You may find them on the web or (preferably) through the lens of your own camera.

Godspeed, my minions.

Avast!!!

After spotting the Bear Dressed as a Lobster in the touring booklet, I thought I was relatively safe from seeing one in person. What God would be so cruel as to hit me with such a diabolical double-whammy? I strutted about confidently, safely ...

I was so wrong.

Build-your-own horror show

In Boston, I happened to pass by one of the Portals of Hell, a little shop known as Build-a-Bear. Besides all the usual TBDOA to which I am (alarmingly!) growing desensitized, I found these beauties.



A husky dog, dressed as a donkey. I am having trouble imagining why this is needed. Is it one of those wolves-in-sheep-clothes scenarios, or some strange stuffed husky subculture of which I am was blissfully unaware?


Now here ... this is beyond the pale (I often use that phrase but didn't know exactly what it meant. Go educate yourself, as I did!). Dragons, for one, are not even real animals (sorry, Calzone). And then getting all gussied up in lobsterwear? Nay. Fie. Avast! And all the other nonsense words! I hurl them at you, ridiculous dragon-lobster hybrid.





I, of course, left a card.

Monkey sees TBDOA!

Knowing TBDOA exist is one thing; seeing the evidence firsthand is quite another. Here, Monkey and I were having lunch atop the Pru in Boston, browsing a touring booklet. Imagine our dismay when we discovered that Teddy Bears Dressed as Lobsters had invaded even this most beautiful place! :: shudder ::

One if by land, two if you're frightened.

In Boston this weekend, I spotted the following monstrosity:

Yes, dear ones. It is a piggy face dressed as a purse (PFDP). Fill in the blank with your emotion here: _______ . Here's what I am feeling.

'Snow hope for mankind; none whatsoe'er.

Just 'cause it has handles sewn on it, doesn't make it a bag.




... these creatures had innards once, for chrissake. Where is your dignity, people?!?!?!