No, seriously.

Not enough of your were freaked out by this website. I'm giving you another peek, because it really is quite frightening. I mean come on, did you look at the snail? Who dressed their baby as a fucking snail, and then needlepoints about it?!?!?!?!?!












I still feel the spider takes the cake. There are bears, too, but I don't have the stomach to tell the tale. Go see for yourself.

Oh Jesus.



Signs.

Oh yes, my children. Even in the sanctuary of the cozy
mom-n-pop coffee shoppe I found myself in this past weekend, there are creeping signs of The End to Come. Gaze now at our peril:


Imagine, if you will, the tiny little immigrant woman, stitching day into night and night into day, on tiny little down coats for bears. How does she not kill herself, how does she look into her own eyes!?!?!?!? Well ... I guess if my family got free soy no-whip lattes every hour on the hour, even I could be a whore for the Bad Guy.

Onward. Astute Armageddon-spotter Lee Ann sent me these two items.

Bears going postal has been seen before, albeit not quite so alluringly shrink-wrapped. But this next bit ....

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Wait, let me catch my breath.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! What the blue hell is that thing?!? A doll, baby bear thing. You know I love dolls, right? I mean ... I just ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I'm having involuntary spasms and urine leakage. I gotta go cry somewhere.

Hats off to TBDOA!
No, seriously ... take your hat off. Please.


This is one of those subsets of TBDOA that is worth mentioning. It is a phenomenon known as "putting teddy bear parts on or near the skull". I can't think of anything more defiling; can you?





















Same-sex bear couples.





Not "legal" in most states.

Horror isn't just for heteros anymore.

"Please stick something in my giant orifice!"
--overheard in trinket shop at I-95 rest area


Now here's something new. I believe these TBDOA-like freaks are meant to hold something, like maybe a water bottle or a fifth of Jim Beam. There is a head and somewhat of a body, and then a huge tube of flesh that is elasticized. I am holding the orifices open to show you on the smaller ones, which maybe hold baby bottles or a camera. I don't know. I don't know from mutants!
It's like a tracheotomy. The thing has a stoma with a bottle sticking out of it! When he/she talks, it sounds like a robot.


By the way, taking pictures of cheap-ass merchandise at a State of Massachusetts DOT rest area is a really good way to get yelled at by a giant, uniform-clad lesbian (probably) with a nightstick and lots of keys.