I don't have any womb in my life for this bullshit.

A teddy near made out of my own placenta. This is by designer Alex Green. It is described as "feeling like some sort of strange leather."  YA THINK???

If I were faced with a decision, I would rank the POSSIBLE FATES OF MY PLACENTA as follows:
  1. Medical waste.
  2. Bury it, bury it deep.
  3. Bury it but plant a tree to feed off my life force.
  4. Placenta teddy bear.
  5. Eating it.
Read an ABC News article about this delight here.

Could this BEE any worse?!?

A teddy bear dressed as a bee hive.
Not an individual bee, which would almost be understandable.  
A whole NEST of bees.

This frightens me at a deep level.

This little nano-bear, shown in a harmless nail-decorating disguise, is actually a little bear-bot that can be injected into your bloodstream where it will replicate & fill
you up with its fuzzy minions.

You have got to be kidding me.

There are no words.

Teddy Teacher

Crooked glasses, flower of appreciation. 
some sort of collar (slave to the school board I guess). 
Just like me!

I'd start by nibbling the ears off.

I just had a major food party at my house (Clash of the Foodies) and I know for a fact that an entry like this would probably get kicked out of the competition, never mind getting any awards.

Seriously ... what is happening to our world?

On a side note, the page this recipe came form was in Spanish, so I had Google translate it for me.  the result is pure comedy.  Take a look:

Halloween ended, and according to the commercial stations of the year, Christmas comes. The ads, nougats, and carols. Formed adults and sing lyrics as deep as: fun, fun, fun, and rim, rim with impunity. And is that the lyrics of some carols are ...
For example, fish in the river. They drink and drink and drink again, fish in the river, to see God born ... The sure they had drunk was the invention of the letter:
- First, fish drink.
- Second, what these fish drink? because if they drink, and drink and drink again ... that mean they are alcoholics???
- Last but not least ... drink and drink and drink again .... to see God born!!
It is clear that drinking even suffer hallucinations. I will not teach my children this Christmas carol.
Go to the bell on bell ... bell on bell and a bell. Look out the window, see the child in the cradle ... (so good) Campana sobre campana, bell and two. Look out the window, see the child of God. (Okay) But it then says: bell on bell and bell three. Look out the window, see the Child be born. (Jolin, then who was the child who was in the crib at the first bell? Was a multiple birth?). And here is just Carol, scares me to think what rhymes with bell would have five.
And from: "I mended, I patched, I took a patch, I took it off?" Take that! Soul of a pitcher, if you're going to take, what do you start? Because if there is going to go, but going "pa nothin '... Jolin, which makes the letter" x xa xu Xu xu x "looks deep ... and rises to the poetry category of the" No place in New York / And York hams are "of Mecano.
And what about the poor San Jose, who is the sucker of all time ... First, the great role that he had to play. "No, the child is not mine. He is the Son of God. " And what an obsession with her panties in the carols! That if they eat mice, that if the thieves are ... Poor man, let him alone underwear, which is quite his own! Normal to be given to drink (like fish) and what to sing, "Tonight is Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, Mary gets the boot, I'm going to get drunk!" What a show, drunk and without panties! All caganets shocked ...
I leave you now with this idea for Christmas, or whenever you want. It is made ​​with homemade bread recipe and I showed that the milk bread decorated with cilantro . The best thing about making bread at home, it gives you a lot of play, since the possibilities are endless. In this case, I have prepared some bread for the kids. You can fill them with whatever you want. Come, to prepare!
Take this opportunity to wish you a very happy birthday to a very special blogger sure we all know: Sonia L'Exquisit. Congratulations Sonia!
Finally we were in fourth place in the competition Journals. Thank you very much to all who have supported me with your votes and your messages. Thanks

This is an insult to foodies everywhere.

I hosted my annual Food Bash last night (Clash of the Foodies) where amazing dishes competed for coveted prizes.  It was truly an event!  What harder way to crash than to discover this little tidbit in the morning -- TBD as Toast.  You may as well just slap me in the face.

Wasabi with this?!?!?!

Look what I discovered -- Teddy Bears as Sushi!!!! This is so not OK!!! As you may recall, we have encountered some serious sushi abuse in the past.  But this is just beyond OK. Oh, and p.s.

See the full post here.

Bears Dressed as Beekeepers!!!

This is the best thing I have seen in a while.  It is a gift from DaMasta.  After Jamwall and I had been married a few years we started desiring to hear the pitter-patter of little feet and the buzz-buzz of little wings, so we got honeybees.  What better way to commemorate our new hobby than by dressing a bear in bee gear!?  

Et tu, Godiva? ET TU?!?!?!?

I'm a tad late posting this horror I spotted at the Godiva store in NYC (Grand Central) back when Jammie and I met for Spankfest 2008; but I can't wait a whole year to post it next Easter. You need to know NOW. Isn't it horrible?

Et tu, Tweety? ET TU?!?!?

thanks, Jamwall.

Betrayed! Et tu, new-found friend?!?!?!?!?

My new-to-TBDOA friend Marty sent me the following:

Only afterwards did she confess that she had bought TWO of them for her daughters! Ohhhh whyyyy, heavenly hosts, why?!?!

Et tu, The River 105.9 FM? Et TU?!?!?!?!?!

Gallery of Horrors, plus voting, here:

Et tu, Gepetto?!?!? Et TU?!?!?!?

Et tu, Björk?!?!? Et TU?!?!?!?

Et tu, Facebook?? ET TU?!?!?!?

Et tu, Starbucks??!? Et TU???

I'm not sure what Other Animal this Teddy Bear is dressed as, but it is just one of a whole coven living in a basket at Starbucks.  I think maybe a werewolf, but if a werewolf then unlike any I have encountered in my vast experience.  It is purple, with a purple mane like the cowlick of a ridgeback.  The costume has claw-hands from which the teddy's round paws emerge, defenseless.  All in all, a travesty and a horror.  My companion at Starbucks, seeing me taking this photo, said, "cute."
Please, just kill me already. Why must I beg?

Seriously. I can't even do a rant for this one. It just hurts too much!

Bears as Food.

Twirling Girl said to me, "I do not believe you have addressed the horrific phenomenon known as teddy bears dressed as/in/with food." Let us explore that, shall we?

More to come, my people.
Much, much more to come.
Sometimes, I just cry.

I don't believe in angels. Moreover, I don't believe angels should be humping musical instruments, no matter how good it feels. And teddy bear angels in harp-humping poses? That just tells me the end is coming. Now that I know what sort of being is behind it, harp-song is the last thing I think I want to hear when that fateful day falls upon us.

Please get it away from me.

Wanted: Legs.

While not TBDOA per se, this legless ottoman certainly qualifies under TBDOA-like phenomena.  I felt such guilt resting my tired dogs on the back of this quadruple amputee in Minneapolis.

Is it bad that I think it's cute?

TBDOA go weightless!!!

Ah yes.  I had the rare opportunity to fly in the Vomit Comet.  Zero G was amazing!!!  Here I am hanging light-as-a feather on a hold cable.  Floating at my side is Teddy Bear Dressed as M&M.

Honeymoon Jackpot #2: Teddy Bears Holding Other Animals

In addition to dressing up, I have noticed, many teddy bears are displayed holding some other animals. To wit:

TBH penguin

TBH seal

TBH unicorn

TBH bear
TBH owl

Honeymoon Jackpot #1: TBDOA and TBDOT (Teddy Bears Dressed as Other Things)

Jamwall & I were honeymooning in the Catskills when we discovered this little country store goldmine. Check it out!:

TBD as Candy

TBD as snowflake

TBD as Halloween cat

TBD as Halloween bat