TBDOA

Horror Comes a-Knocking ... and the Heart Opens a Door

Sometimes love appears in strange ways. It comes as an unexpected gesture, help unlooked-for, a kind word at the right moment. And sometimes, like today, it comes in the form of a horror so profound that it can only be meant as a gesture to help me to grow and to face my fears.

Today, a package appeared at my door. It was from my alterego, my muse, my biggest vice, my bitch-slave and secret lovah, DaMasta. First, I will show you the notes:

She is so thorough.

Her very own Mexican tongue

has sealed these envelopes!!!

¡Ay caramba!

¡Feliz Navidad!

(She doesn't know it's June.)

(It's OK, I love her even though she is not too bright.)

Oh, it's recycling.

I love that.

Forgive me for what I said about you being a dummy.

Me encantas.

Yes, I did in fact blog about this very thing.

The Icy Grip of Pure Terror

Bears as mermaids.

[Here's what DaMasta said back then: The humpty egg is actually kinda cute. But the snorkelers/mermaid men have. to. go. There's no need for that in a world like this. I guess she has changed her tune!]

Wait, you know I hate TBDOA*, right?!?!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Oh, the humanity!

The only thing I loathe more than TBDOA is mer-creatures. They are so scaly, so strangely human. How do they procreate? Do they have a pouch like seahorses? How do they go poopy? What's with the shell-titties? All of these questions plague me.

Yet ... I can see what DaMasta is trying to do here. By making me look my fear straight in the eye, she is forcing me to grow and to become a better person. A tolerant person. A lover of all things vomitously adorable. Only she would encourage me to stretch my comfort zone in this manner.

In fact ... I have come to love the mer-bear.

I just hope I don't put it in my mouth: