I Can't Bear It

This weekend, I found myself in a well-known baby item store. While there, I wandered into the toy section to look around. It was manned (or should I say monkeyed?) by this fierce-looking but very kind gentleman, who let me take pictures after I mentioned that I know Monkey, whom he seems to remember from some sort of camp. He wouldn't elaborate when pressed, even though I offered to let him spend some time in my armpit.

The reason for taking pictures will now be revealed. In the past, I may have mentioned a particular pet peeve of mine. See if you can guess what it might be, from looking at the following photos:

Bear as bee.

Bear as bunny.

Bear as devil.

Bear as ladybug.

Bear as vegetable.

Bear as f---ing candy corn!

Did you figure it out? Good. You are very astute. I hate bears dressed as other things. Why can't a bear just be a bear, dammit? Bears are cute in their own right; they don't need to dress up as other things. I won't rant about it much longer; I've already done so here. But I will continue to post evidence of this perversion as it is revealed to me. Proof that the world is going to hell. Teddy bear hell! Feel free to flood my inbox with photos of the sickness if you see it in your corner of the world. I'll use them next time I go off on this topic. In fact, I think I'll start a whole separate blog about it. That, and dolls that freak me out.

While I'm ranting, how about this: Why would anyone want to dress their little girl like this (below)? Check out these infant items, also at said famous baby store. Do people really want to tell the world that "My baby "R" a hooker?" I don't think so.

I'm OK now. I just needed to get that off my chest. I'll be in the basement with an icepack on my face. Holler if you need me.

1 comment:

Evil Spock said...

You are so effin' brilliant! We need to exchange links!